


Hero

by kittenofdoomage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff, Oneshot, Reader Insert, Sad Ending, Sex, Smut, Unrequited Love, third person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 20:53:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8861479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenofdoomage/pseuds/kittenofdoomage
Summary: A challenge response. Serious angst. Dean meets someone from his past, but he really shouldn't get his hopes up.





	

He’d been staring at his pint of watered down beer for too long already, but he hadn’t want to leave the dive bar he’d chosen for the night. Something was anchoring him to his seat like he was supposed to be there, and it was close to eleven when fate walked into the bar, singling him out amongst the rowdy crowd. It smelt like stale cigarettes and overbearing cologne, but he swore he could smell her unique perfume before he even looked up.

Y/N smelt like coconut and vanilla, and she looked every bit as beautiful as the last time he’d laid eyes on her. His one real regret before he’d gone to Hell, quite literally, and for a moment, he swore he felt something thunk hard in his chest.

Standing from his seat, Dean abandoned his beer, walking to meet her at the bar, where she ordered a straight whiskey for him and a glass of soda for herself.

‘Soda?’ He questioned, and she blushed, looking down at her hands. He missed those hands. She’d always had the softest touch when he’d needed patching after a hunt, or when she’d offered to give him a shoulder rub when the strain became too much on his aching muscles.

‘I quit drinking,’ she explained, shrugging. He smiled, leaning into her, inhaling her scent deeply.

‘I should,’ he mused, and she giggled, the sound like light bells to his ears. He’d missed that too – her laugh was bright, and bubbly, and he’d strived to hear it as much as possible. ‘How did you find me?’ It wasn’t an out-of-place question – it had been at least six years since he’d seen her, both of them driven apart by circumstance and…well, death.

‘Asked around. Heard you had a nice little set up near here, so I thought it’d be easiest to check the bars first.’ She sounded amused, and Dean smiled again, wondering how she still knew him so well after so long apart. They’d been friends forever, and nothing more, despite the yearning he’d had to take that road. ‘Sorry to just turn up, but…I had some business near here and thought I’d see a friendly face.’

He nodded, taking the whiskey and knocking it back, feeling no effect other than the burn on his throat. It would take a great deal more than one shot to get him anywhere near wasted, so he didn’t feel any remorse in drinking so quickly. ‘Are you in town for long? Sam’s back at the bunker – it’s our safe house. You’re welcome to stay instead of crashing in a crappy motel.’

She shook her head, tossing her hair back out of her eyes. It didn’t work, as it simply flopped back down again, making his smile widen. ‘I’m only here for one night. You know how it is.’

Dean did and he hated it, more than anything. But he’d take one night of her company over nothing. ‘Wanna grab a seat?’ He asked, and she smiled, nodding and grabbing her glass, following him over to the booth he’d formally occupied.

The night passed slowly, which was all the better for Dean, as they shared stories and hunts over more than one drink. She stuck to her soda, whilst Dean bought himself a bottle of whiskey from the bar, content to find a mild buzz amongst the conversation. She’d been travelling a lot, hunting more, but she still listened like she always had. Since they’d parted, Dean had been through more than he wished he had, but it felt good to get it off of his chest.

‘I can’t believe I missed all the fun,’ she joked, after he told her about Purgatory and the way he’d fought to get back to Sam. ‘You remember the ghoul hunt in Chicago?’ Dean smiled, remembering it fondly, how they’ve drank and danced and almost gotten killed. It was how it had always been for them – fighting and drinking at each other’s side, and he remembered now just how much he missed that, how much he had valued her at his back and he at hers.

‘So, is it a hunt you’re in town for?’

‘Sort of,’ she replied, sipping at her soda. ‘Like a loose ends thing.’

‘Can I help?’

She laughed that beautiful laugh again, and shook her head. ‘No, I’m good. It’s mostly taken care of.’

‘Come on,’ he chided, nudging her with his arm before taking a swig of his drink, missing the pained look on her face. ‘You know I can help.’

‘I know. You always try, Dean. That’s one of the things I love about you,’ she kept her voice low, sitting back in the booth, and he frowned, wishing he had the courage to just draw her close and kiss her like he’d always wanted. ‘It’s not anything you can help with. Like I said, it’s mostly taken care of. But thank you, for offering.’ She reached out, placing one small hand on his knee, and it felt like it was going to burn through his jeans. ‘You’re always so selfless.’

_ I’m really not _ , his mind provided, but Dean clamped his mouth shut, giving her a tight smile as he took another drink, wishing the whiskey would have more of an effect.

‘Hey,’ she started, squeezing his knee softly. ‘Wanna get out of here?’

He blinked, unsure if he’d heard correctly. ‘Huh?’

Y/N giggled. ‘You heard me. Wanna get out of here? This scene seems a little played, and if I talk shop anymore –‘

‘No, I heard, I just…do you mean you wanna get out of here or  _ you wanna get out of here _ ?’

She leaned forward, her smile bright and Dean allowed the spark of hope in his chest to grow. ‘I’m giving you the line, Dean. Take it.’

He swallowed, feeling more nervous than he had with any woman before. His body was slow to react, even as she slid her nimble fingers through his thick calloused ones, almost leading him from the bar in a daze. Even the cool air outside didn’t knock him into action, but the low moan she gave when she saw Baby did.

‘Oh, I missed this car.’ She crooned, letting go of his hand and running to the sleek machine, running her fingers over the paintwork like a lovers caress. Dean found himself suddenly jealous of his prized possession, but he knew one thing that would make her happy.

‘Well, I’m a little too wasted to drive,’ he lied smoothly, because he’d driven Baby whilst absolutely blind drunk before, so this was nothing. ‘Maybe you should –‘ He cut off, holding out his keys and her eyes lit up, her fingers grabbing for them without hesitation. ‘Just be car-‘

‘I know, I know,’ she replied, giggling as she ran around to the driver’s side. Dean climbed into the front, watching Y/N eagerly set herself up to drive his car, looking like she was finally home. The engine roared to life under her delicate touch, and the way she pulled out of the lot, you’d think she’d never missed a day of driving Baby. He leaned forward, pushing a tape into the deck, and leaning back to sing along to the Rolling Stones. Y/N joined in, her fingers dancing over the wheel as she guided the car along the back road.

‘Take a left here,’ Dean said, pausing in his singing to direct her and she smiled, following his instructions as he led her back to the bunker.

When they pulled up, Y/N sat in the car for a moment, looking up at the ominous building, before looking over at him. ‘This is your place? Wow. Talk about dungeons and dragons.’

‘It’s a little more like nerd central,’ he joked, opening his door. ‘Watchtower for the Justice League.’

‘You are such a geek,’ she laughed, getting out of the car and tossing him the keys as he waltzed around to her side. His heart pounded as he threw an arm around her shoulders, almost like it belonged there, his hopes soaring higher than they ever had before when she snuggled into his hold. It was almost like she was made to fit beside him.

Dean unlocked the door, leading her into the bunker, greeting Sam as they moved into the war room. The younger Winchester looked up, expecting only his brother and not his companion, and his jaw dropped in surprise as Y/N gave him a little finger wave.

‘Y/N?’ He jumped up from the table, sending three books flying and almost tripping on his lanky legs. ‘My god, it’s been so long!’ Y/N squeaked as Dean moved back to allow Sam to envelope her in a gigantic hug, his smile contagious. ‘How are you?’

She pulled back from him, nodding, the smile on her face tight as she answered with a simple “I’m fine”. Dean felt that it may have been a lie, but he was too happy to have her back in his life to care.

‘Are you staying? Where have you been? Did you drive here? Are you here for a hunt?’ Sam was firing off questions too fast and Dean stepped in, holding a hand up.

‘Whoa, little brother, give it a rest. She’s here, that’s what matters.’

Sam nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets, still smiling. ‘I’m sorry. I guess, I just missed you.’ Y/N stepped forward, throwing her hands around his middle and hugging him as he chuckled.

‘It’s okay, I missed you too, Sam.’ She stepped back, looking to Dean and raising an eyebrow. ‘Well, I hate to ruin the reunion but I am beat. I could really use a warm bed.’ Dean chuckled as Sam looked between them, narrowing his eyes. He opened his mouth, about to ask another question, when Dean shot him a look that made him slam it shut again.

‘I’ve got some research to do,’ he said, excusing himself back to his seat, picking up his books. ‘See you in the morning, yeah?’

Y/N nodded, almost reluctantly, but Sam didn’t see it, and Dean chose to ignore it as he gestured to the hallway that led to the bedrooms. ‘Come on, let’s, er,’ he trailed off, not sure how to phrase it but feeling a blossom of warmth in his belly as she took his hand and let him lead her further into his home.

Once the bedroom door was shut, something snapped in her, and she pounced on him, pushing him against the bedroom door, stealing a heated kiss from his lips until he was panting for air. At that point, she dropped back, blushing furiously. ‘Sorry. It’s just…’ She sighed. ‘I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.’

Dean smiled, pulling her close, smoothing her hair back out of her eyes with his long fingers. ‘Me too.’

Her eyes sparkled as he took his turn to steal a kiss; this one was long and drawn out, but no less heated than the first. When they broke apart, Y/N was taking deep breaths, almost like she was hyperventilating. Dean frowned, but she smiled up at him, and dispelled his fears.

‘Is this a one night thing?’ He asked, suddenly terrified she would disappear and slip through his fingers again. He wanted nothing more than to wake up in the morning with her and seize the chance he’d been denied so long ago. Y/N watched him for a moment, before tugging on his arms, drawing him over to his bed, urging him to sit down by patting the mattress.

‘I can’t…tonight…’ She tried to start, before slumping in frustration, only to find his fingers underneath her chin, making her look up at him. Tears shone in her eyes, and Dean leaned in, kissing her softly, making her sigh as he drew back from her. ‘Just for tonight, can we not talk about what might happen? Can we just live in this moment and pretend it won’t ever end?’ She reached up, slim fingers tracing the outline of his full bottom lip. ‘That’s all I want with you, Dean. I wanna find that happiness and never let go, even if it’s gone when the sun comes up.’

He knew what it was; he’d done it too many times himself. She didn’t know if she would be there in the morning, and couldn’t promise him what he’d always dreamed of. So Dean did what he did best; he shoved aside what he wanted, and focused on her.

‘In the moment,’ he whispered, leaning into her touch. ‘I can do that.’

She smiled, both hands cupping his face as she pressed her lips to his. The kiss started chaste, but the second her tongue swiped against his mouth, he was there with her, everything in him desperate to claim and keep this woman for his own. She tasted like the sweet soda she’d been drinking all evening, a balm to his whiskey ravaged throat, and he knew he’d drink her forever if he could.

Her hands left his face, dragging down his neck, before pushing at the light jacket he wore, until Dean took the hint and shrugged it off, reluctantly breaking from her kiss as he did. He tossed his jacket to the floor, pulling his overshirt off with it, keeping his eyes on her as she removed her own jacket and flung it to join his.

She didn’t speak as she pushed up onto her feet and moved to straddle him, grinding the apex of her thighs down onto his crotch, feeling him respond, even through the layers of denim that kept them separated. Dean moaned into her mouth, his hands settling at her sides for a few moments before coming up to squeeze her breasts together. She whined as his thumbs teased her nipples through her bra, and nipped at his lip, ending the kiss as he chuckled at her eagerness.

‘Dean –‘ she purred, grabbing the hem of her top and dragging it upwards, leaving Dean to snag the hooks on her bra and render her completely bare from the waist up.

It was nothing new to see scars on a hunter, but the ones that she bore on her chest and side were new, still fresh and pink, and a little too neat to have been caused by a monster. She smiled, disarmingly and shrugged.

‘Some monsters like the taste I guess,’ she whispered, a tone of sadness distracting him for a few seconds before she was guiding his hands back to her breasts, whimpering and moaning at his touch. Dean leaned in, ignoring the thick pink scar that covered the swell of her left breast, his focus on her nipples. He latched his mouth onto one, his reward her keening whine of pleasure, making him harder in his pants.

She didn’t resist as he turned them, laying her reverently on the bed as his fingers picked at the fastenings of her pants. Her back arched, allowing him the room to remove the offending material, and he reluctantly parted from her breast as he removed the rest of her clothing, leaving her naked on his bed.

Dean felt like he’d touched heaven, again, but this time, it was something he wasn’t willing to let go of. She was miles of smooth skin and soft curves, begging for his touch, and he couldn’t deny the way his heart twisted at the thought of this being the only time he was given this gift. As if she sensed his musings, Y/N lifted her chin, before raising her foot and rubbing her delicate toes over the swell in his pants.

‘You gonna stare all night, or are you gonna fuck me?’ She whispered, her words dripping with desire and Dean groaned, ripping off his own t-shirt before falling onto the bed, saving her from his weight with the strength of his arms. She laughed, the sound evolving into an ecstatic moan as he kissed her neck and moved down across her body. This time, he didn’t ignore the scar, kissing along the length of it, and repeating the gesture with the one along her side. He might not know where they came from, what monster gave them to her, but he wasn’t going to think they were anything but a part of the perfection he’d loved so hard over the time he’d known her.

‘I’m not gonna fuck you,’ he whispered, pausing against her belly button. ‘I’m gonna make love to you, Y/N. Way I should have…’

She arched, cutting off his words as his fingers teased along her bare slit. ‘Dean…just…just…’ She couldn’t finish as he stroked her sensitive flesh with his index finger, his nose pressed into her mound as he flicked his tongue out to taste her for the first time. He zeroed in on her clit, circling it softly, avoiding direct contact, even as she whined and whimpered his name.

‘Take it easy, princess,’ Dean murmured, smiling at her wanton writhing. ‘I’m gonna make it good,’ he exhaled softly over her pussy, her body responding by erupting into goosepimples. He moved then, settling himself between her thighs, spreading them with his large hands, before he pressed his tongue to her throbbing clit once more. Y/N made a noise that sounded like his name, but it was so clouded with need that he couldn’t be sure.

He kept on at her core, teasing and pressing her clit constantly until she was shuddered, so close he could taste it on her skin, but he wouldn’t let her fall. As she edged, he penetrated her with one single finger, curling it just right to find her sweet spot, applying the slightest amount of pressure to make her cry out. He knew she wanted to come, she didn’t need to say it, but he had to make it last, had to make her feel everything he could.

If this was the only night he could get, then he’d make it one she’d remember forever.

‘Dean,’ she cried, fingers scrabbling at the sheets on his bed, her pussy clenching around his single finger, and he grinned, knowing he had her right where he wanted her; balanced on the edge between need and climax, her nerves alight with his touch. ‘Dean, please –‘ God, the way she said his name was a drug that would have him addicted, he knew it. But he needed more.

‘Want you to scream for me, sweetheart,’ he crooned, slowly sliding a second finger in to join the first. ‘Scream my name.’ He twisted his fingers a little, pumping them into her harder, giving her what she needed. Her reaction was instantaneous, and she screamed his name, fucking down onto his mouth and hand, and Dean only went hard, pushing her past the point of climax and beyond, until she was a shaking mess on the bed.

Only when her cries had reduced to whimpers and soft moans did he pull away, licking his fingers clean of her spendings and standing to remove his pants. The grunt he gave when the pressure was alleviated from his erection made her giggle a little, her head moving from side to side as she basked in the post-climatic haze.

‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispered, shedding himself of the rest of his clothes, before climbing onto the bed beside her, peppering kisses along her arm and shoulder. She didn’t reply, shifting onto her side to grind down against him and he groaned, dropping his head into her breasts. ‘Fuck, Y/N -’ She smiled, arching her back, prompting him to suck one hard and aching nipple into his mouth. His hands were on the small of her back, pressing her down onto his prominent erection, and he shifted so her leg was underneath the curve of his waist, using his elbow to prevent his weight from crushing her knee. The tip of his cock grazed against her wet folds, and she whimpered, rubbing against him as he continued to lavish attention on her breasts.

‘Dean,’ she mewled, grinding down onto him, his body preventing her from getting more than a minute amount of friction from his aching cock. ‘Please, need you inside.’

Dean groaned with her nipple in his mouth, looking up at her with lust filled adoration, before releasing her breast with a wet plop, shifting his hips closer. He reached between them, fisting his cock and pressing the velvety head into her cunt. She gasped and let loose a throaty moan of pleasure as he sank into her, his eyes closing tightly as her hot, wet heat enveloped him.

‘Gah.’ Words failed him as he pushed into her until the natural barriers of her body stopped him, leaving him shuddering against her, relishing the moment of stillness as her cunt twitched and pulsed around him. Her arms were around his neck, holding his head close to her chest, and Dean listened for a moment, hearing the ragged breathing and rapid thump of her heart, feeling the light sweat that had broken out on her clammy skin. ‘Y/N,’ he murmured, wanting to look up and see her face. She released her hold a little, and he did as he wanted, looking straight into her eyes as he gave a first experimental thrust, marvelling at the way her body responded. 

The words were right there, in his grasp, and he opened his mouth to speak, only to find her mouth crushed against his, the confession swallowed in moans and whimpers, as she started to move on him, encouraging gentle, long strokes from his body into hers.

It didn’t matter. There would be time for him to tell her later.

Y/N gasped for breath as Dean rocked into her over and over, the heat from the close quarters of their bodies unwelcome but desperately needed at the same time. Having her this close was every heaven he’d even dreamed of, but at the same time, he was terrified she would turn to mist in his hands.

‘Come for me,’ he whispered, and she nodded, biting down on her bottom lip, her eyes shut as her face screwed up in an adorable mask of pleasure. Dean kept watching her, memorising every nuance of her expression, every slight line and curve in her face. ‘Come for me, sweetheart. Wanna feel it.’

She writhed, arching her back again, and Dean moved his hands to hold her steady, feeling his leg going slightly numb at the pressure of being on his side, but he didn’t care; he couldn’t stop. He felt it the second she came, her walls clenching down on him with a force that should have been painful but only made him see stars. He grunted, willing his own climax to stop building, wanting this to last as long as possible. But Y/N kept moving, kept squirming and twisting in his hold and he couldn’t hold back any longer.

Desperate for her to come with him, he pushed a hand between them, pinching and teasing her clit, drawing out the orgasm she was in the midst of, and he was rewarded with a piercing cry that sent him over the edge, emptying himself into her warmth. Dean buried his face in her chest and neck, feeling her arms hold him closer than before.

For a few long moment, they laid together, their combined spendings leaking out onto the bedspread, but Dean couldn’t find it in his heart to care. He was warm, and content, and happy for the first time in a long while.

‘We’ve got all night, right?’ He asked, and Y/N giggled, the sound making his heart skip a beat in the most sickeningly romantic way.

‘Of course we have,’ she whispered, kissing the top of his head.

*****

Dean hadn’t slept as well as he did beside her in months, and when he opened his eyes, he found them still heavy. His body was still humming with the buzz of a night spent making love, and as he raised his chin, the clock blinked at him, announcing eleven thirty in the morning in harsh red lighting. He flung an arm out to his side, finding the other side of the bed empty.

He sat bolt upright, looking around his room, seeing his clothes from the night before, but nothing of her, and in a second, he was up, throwing on whatever he could find as he frantically called her name. Leaving his room, he looked up and down the corridors, before running on bare feet to the kitchen, finding that empty too.

Sam was in the library, with a book and he looked up in concern as he saw his brother walk in, calling for Y/N with a desperate tone. ‘She’s not here?’ He asked, and Dean shook his head, a worried frown pressing his brow downwards. ‘I haven’t seen her, I thought she was with you.’

‘No, she’s…she’s gone –‘ Dean turned abruptly, sprinting back to his room, grabbing his boots to go out and look for her, and that was when he saw it.

A single piece of paper, ripped from the notebook he kept in the drawer. Her scrawling handwriting was achingly familiar, and he picked it up, his heart shattering as he read it.

_ All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost - you’re a hero, Dean Winchester, don’t ever forget that. _

She was gone.

*****

Five weeks later, the Impala growled to a halt outside the house he’d met her in front of, decades before. When they’d both been innocent, for the most part, not warped by the hunting life. Her car was parked outside, and Dean allowed himself to hope for a moment, before climbing out of Baby and walking slowly up to the front door. He gave two sharp knocks and waited, holding his breath and wondering what he would say to her.

But she didn’t answer.

Instead, the door cracked open, revealing her grandmother, an aged woman who had been kind to him as a child. ‘Dean!’ She exclaimed, but the shock was covered by a thick blanket of sadness that he could almost feel destroying his hope. ‘You’re…oh, you’re looking for Y/N.’

‘Is she here?’ He asked, the hope in his voice making it crack, and Mrs Y/L/N shook her head, tears springing to her eyes.

‘She’s not,’ she rasped, emotion clogging her throat. ‘She’s over on Fourth.’

‘Fourth, but…’ Dean knew this town well, and his face fell as he realised her meaning, and his heart broke all over again. ‘She’s…’

Mrs Y/L/N nodded. ‘I’m sorry, Dean. I know…I know what you meant to each other. Why don’t you go and see her, and then come back here. She left some things for you.’ She smiled, reaching out to him, taking his hand with her withered one. ‘For what it is worth, it is good to see you again, little hero.’ Of course she’d remember.

He nodded dumbly, turning away from the door and back to the Impala, letting his thoughts wander back into memories. When he’d first met Y/N, his dad had dragged him on some hunt out in the sticks, where Y/N’s dad was also working the same job. The kids got lumped together, and Y/N had had an accident. Dean had patched her up; the first time he’d done it for anyone but his dad or Sammy, and Y/N never cried, not once. She called him a hero, and told everyone who would listen that he’d saved her life.

Innocent. They’d been so untouched then, not ruined by the life. She wasn’t that much younger than him, a fraction older than Sam, and she’d worshipped him. They were the best of friends. And it could have been so much more if he’d not wasted his chance.

Pulling up on Fourth, Dean looked out across the snow covered trees and ground, taking his time in getting out of the car. He buried his hands in his pockets as he trudged across the path, scanning every headstone he passed until he saw hers, his body freezing as reality set in. For long seconds, he didn’t move, watching the marble marker as if it might somehow change and not be real.

But it was all too real. Her name was carved carefully across the stone, echoing every fear he’d ever had.

He dropped to his knees on top of the frozen ground, reaching out with cold red fingers to trace the letters, and the date below. There weren’t many words to accompany the two, and he imagined that no one really knew what to put. It had been a week after she’d come to him that she’d died, and he knew now, whatever they’d had for that last night…he was the reason she’d been there.

Maybe she’d been trying to give him home.

Maybe he’d always been her hero.

He didn’t feel like one, right now. He hadn’t saved her. What did it matter if he couldn’t save the one person he loved more than anything he’d ever felt in his life?

The snow had frozen over the bottom of the stone, and Dean scraped at it, ignoring the sting in his fingers from the freezing temperatures. As it came away, icy shard by icy shard, he felt a little warmth in his chest.

_ ‘I do not wander. I am not lost.’ _

Tears filled his eyes and he sank back, feeling the heels of his feet dig into his ass as did so, letting himself cry. He should have known. He should have done something. He should have saved her.

After all…she had saved him.

  
  



End file.
